Dating in the workplace

I HAVE heard countless times about couples who met in the workplace. Some relationships headed for the altar, a few lasted only briefly as their careers. I don’t know if there are sure-fire rules, but what I know is, when you are dating someone from work, always practice discretion. No playing footsies in the conference room, or getting caught kissing in the pantry. That’s just a no-no and devoid of proper and professional decorum.

I met an interesting young lady last weekend, a new hire of an IT company. I admire Karen because she seemed like an ambitious woman for someone so young. This 22-year-old lady told me of her career goals and how she wants to achieve them. This early, she says she wants to retire before she even turns 55 and just travel the world. Wow! Not even I had this attitude when I was her age.

She is tall and attractive and I told her I am sure she has a lot of admirers at work. She answered in the positive but was firm and resolute that she will never entertain the idea of dating a co-worker. She thinks that it may cause her to stray from her career goals, among other reasons. For a change, here is someone who refuses to conform to the norm.

As I go through my favorite websites, I encountered one on ehow.com on how to dodge an impending office romance. Let me share it with you.

1. Review your company handout from time to time. There must be a policy regarding workplace dating. Some companies lay out specific rules about dating the boss, supervisor, manager and co-employee.

2. If you get an invite from a guy for lunch or coffee, kindly, but firmly respond in the negative, and there is no need to give an explanation because doing so will only make them persist more and will eventually annoy you. Be brief. Say something like, “No, thank you.”

3. Maintain a professional attitude. Avoid flirting and don’t send them signals that will make them think you are. Be focused with your work. It is better to build a healthy working relationship to avoid office romance.

4. Report any form of harassment to your superiors. Do not tolerate a co-worker who is pestering you just because you turned him down.

5. Develop an active social life outside the workplace. Join a yoga class or form a badminton group that meets up after office hours or during weekends. Don’t make your co-workers your social life.

Again, I am not saying that office romance is wrong, but if you find yourself having the same mindset like Karen, not looking for love in the workplace, then it won’t hurt to follow these guidelines. If your eyes are already set on someone at work, go for it, as long as you know (and live by) the rules. If you choose otherwise, suit yourself. Bottom line is, do what makes you happy! –Patty Betita, Manila Times

For company, school and individual workshops, e-mail patty@pattybetita.com