Engless

“Engless” is my own word for wrong English
For Those who Reed and Right

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Let’s face! it! – English is a crazy language.

From: Laffaday

PUNCTUATION IS IMPORTANT!

A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones
had sent to him by an usher. The note read: “Bill Jones
having gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the
congregation for his safety.”

Failing to observe the punctuation, he startled his audience
by announcing: “Bill Jones, having gone to see his wife,
desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety.”

“Watch out for the opening of xxx store!”
Does this mean we have to beware of the store?
Watch out means “beware” or “be careful”.
Will the store sell shoddy goods or cheat customers?
The right phrase should be “Watch for the opening …”

The following are mass nouns and there is no need to put an “s” to make them plural:

audience, training, people, knowledge, equipment.
“irregardless” should be “regardless”
the alternative is “irrespective”

“taken cared of” should be “taken care of”
care in this case is a noun (not a verb)
the alternative is “cared for” where care is a verb

“the reason is because” should be “the reason is”
the reason is already the because
the alternative when used in a sentence is “the reason she did that is…”
or “she did that because …”