Reasons why we should vote for . . .

1. Money Villyear

What’s in a name? This is something that a lot of wise people ask themselves. And that is what I am asking myself now . . . will this man, whose name resounds money, moolah, dough, piedad, pera, datung, cha-ching, or whatever you call those bills and coins that make the world go ‘round, contribute to our impoverished society?

His admirable personal history can be summarized as such, “’kala mo trapo, ‘yun pala ka-topak mo . . .” Will his achievements and visions be able to address the many ills and “topaks” of our nation?

All I know is that he can give good “Free Village” speeches. With his stupendous background in property development, I hope he can give every Filipino a home.

Free village mula sa Ka-topak mo! (Translation: Marami kang benepisyo sa taong kaisa mo sa diwa at isipan).

2. Benign Akin-to III

Known to be the offspring of two of this nation’s heroes, will it be a Yes-Yes or a No-no for this guy, who suffers from the same wonderful fate of his mother, who was also asked to run for “pressed decency?”

Ok, enough with the lampoons for this guy for I somehow respect his mother greatly, and I am afraid of also being removed from “Wawa-we,” if I say something bad, so just let me say this: I hope that people will not vote for him on the basis of pedigree but on what he can actually do for this country.

At the end of the day, you may be your parents’ child, but you are not them. Especially when you can be a wooden prop with strings at the back, which can be pulled to perform onstage and dance the way they want you to.

3. Marred Rehash

I will vote for him simply because he had the sense to say, “Liliban tayo,” and dropped out of the presidential race and opted to be under the wing of the bigger runner. I actually thought that he had to “K” to run, but now, he opted to ride his padyak to peddle the one he believes stands a better chance. True to his name, Marred Rehash, he was able to rehash his strategies for a better one!

After all, the world is his; give it a few more years, he can be on top; for now, he is just showing us all how second best is still the best!

Even if he has stepped down and decided to run as vice president, I am still looking forward to those wonderful TV commercials, of him being the clean and pristine hero in his Padyak jet, while the people around him look as impoverished as ever. The truth depicted in those ads brings tears to my eyes! He’s certainly my bet for the vice presidency!

4. Grill-bert “Tibo” Tudor Oh!

This man has proven that “the grass is always greener on the other side of Defence.” Indeed, this man is well on his way up there, after being the nominee of the odd-ministration, which many others have squabbled for. This is because of his breathtakingly beautiful wife, who had temper-tantrumed her way, saying that she will leave the party if her husband doesn’t get the coveted nomination.

I will certainly vote for this guy because of his very beautiful wife, whom I’d love to see more on television, and maybe as a decoration in the Mala-kanya Palace.

We should all vote for him so that we can see more beautiful social butterflies that will spend our money on parties. Do you think this is better than seeing your money spent on houses and property abroad?

5. Erupt Tirada

I voted for my idol once, and I will keep voting for him no matter how many times he keeps running!

This man is the epitome of resilience, the most admirable Filipino trait. No matter how many times he’s been used, deceived or abused, he never stops. And that is something we all should imbibe!

Right now, we see him everyday having trysts with different people, all of them slinging mud at each other, like a superhero on screen! And as of present, we are seeing him battle his greatest nemesis, which used to be his good ally, Poison, a.k.a Ping Lason! Who will win in this tireless tirade? We will soon find out; but all that matters is that we, the people are the losers!

If we all haven’t learned our lesson, I suggest we vote for him, again!

I hope I have somehow enlightened you on the astounding credentials of our president and vp wannabes. If we vote on the basis of money, looks, pedigree and platform, then we would have done our contribution in making this nation a better place . . . to be ridiculed. –Marylaine Louise Viernes, Manila Times

apotheosis.multiply.com/ marylaine_viernes@manilatimes.net