Alive and killing

So far I have buried two friends, and from the looks of it, I will soon be burying friend number 3.

I don’t especially enjoy funerals, but what makes them worse is watching someone die a slow death. It’s that kind of death that resembles watching once famous buildings slowly decay, crumble and finally fall apart.

Friend number 1 died with his public denials, friend number 2 died in his desperation to explain his life, his mistakes, his recovery and his eventual death. Friend number 3 is in hiding like an Old Testament leper cursed by his disease and unexpected poverty and eventually becoming a social outcast.

My two dead, and one soon to be departed friend are all part of an unknown, hidden dirty little secret conspiracy. A conspiracy where compassion hides the truth, denial covers shame and ignorance is preferred to action.

Out of compassion, family members don’t talk about what happened to my friends. Unless you ask, you might be led to believe that they died by suicide. Their doctors who are often close family friends write them off as having died of natural causes; TB of the brain, renal failure or some form of cancer.

In the end, only the closest of relations know that what ultimately killed them was not what really caused their death. Even medical authorities don’t find out the true cause of death. If we were in the 1980’s this would be understandable, but in 2010 it has become a real threat.

This conspiracy in fear denies the truth that AIDS in the Philippines is alive and killing.

After all that has been said and done about AIDS and HIV, people are still reluctant to admit or talk about having AIDS or about a loved one who has AIDS. But hiding or living in denial is equal to letting the serial killer get away to kill some more. Not talking about guns, drugs, prostitution and corruption never made the problems go away. Not talking about AIDS will not make it go away either.

Treating AIDS or HIV related reports as space fillers or unpopular news items, is equivalent to promoting the spread of the disease. In a recent gathering, some people actually thought that a cure for AIDS has made the disease go away. Yes Magic Johnson is alive and well, but for every “Magic” trick, there are thousands dying everyday. Unfortunately, that is no longer reported except on World AIDS day.

Before, AIDS was a ghost we feared something “other people” have. Today AIDS is a killer in the bodies of friends, relatives or family. Perhaps AIDS is alive and killing in our own bodies. Why hide it? Why not fight it?

The Department of Health recently made a very public effort of distributing condoms for Valentines Day. The expectation is that the Catholic Church or one of its auxiliary groups will protest over the idea. I on the other hand will support the DOH on this one.

This however is an emergency stop- gap measure that the DOH is compelled to do in order to bring awareness, prevention and education to Filipinos concerning Socially transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies.

Churches all over the Philippines must not be fooled by the Devil into thinking that the DOH or government policy is the problem or the enemy. We need to stop arguing about “Condoms and Population control”. That as we call it is the devil’s lie. It’s a distraction or misrepresentation thrown in to make sure that the real problem is not addressed.

All Churches and religious people need to realize that STD, HIV or unwanted pregnancy, are simply CONSEQUENCES. The real problems are not medical in nature they are spiritual. Churches can either take the lead or take the blame if social ills or medical disasters abound because it is in the very core of their faith, their membership and what they preach where society can find answers.

Both rich and poor, sinner and saint, married or single, young and old, they are in large numbers members of different churches that preach, profess or promote love, equality, kindness, charity etc, etc.

It is in Church and each and every member where we hear of a higher standard, greater sacrifice and true meaning of love. The question is when will members and their churches begin to TRULY practice what they preach? Until we do, we will have to live with the unholy conspiracy of compassion where we hide in shame, human tragedy caused by very human mistakes.

As people are equipped and mentored, the more they become aware of their choices or consequence. Preaching and teaching is the work of the church, preventive medicine is the work of the state. One compliments the other. If we are to put an end to the unholy conspiracy of hiding the serial killer known as AIDS, we must first kill our shame, then our fears.

Condoms won’t do that. Prayer and Preaching might. –Cito Beltran (The Philippine Star)