Into the heart of darkness

A deeper look into suicide

IF, in any case, that you feel suicidal now, it is probably better for you to stop and take a while to read this. It will only take about a couple of minutes. The idea that death will set one free from pain, dishonor or loneliness has always held an appeal to some.

Before “emo” rock made self-destructiveness and angst the in-thing, literature has long romanticized suicide, as evidenced by William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Many religions glorify martyrdom and justify suffering under the status quo instead of encouraging empowerment and championing resilience.
Even the son of critically acclaimed actor Caesar Montano was not safe from seductive appeal of a death intended. In this day and age of social disconnect and ever increasing consumerist expectations, it is all too easy to give in to the dark seduction.

But the understated heroism of the silent majority who persevere through daily adversity, should serve as inspiration to anyone who feels he or she can no longer cope with pain. Properly identifying the problem helps solve it.

A mental problem

Suicide, the act of killing one’s self often as a desperate attempt to escape an unbearable suffering, is a mental health issue rather than a social issue. The World Health Organization (WHO) has listed it as one mental health problem that needs immediate attention. WHO has a program called SUPRE (Suicide Prevention) which aims to reduce mortality and morbidity rates because of suicidal behaviors.

According to records by the WHO, in the last 45 years, suicide rates have increased by 60 percent in some countries and it ranks among the three leading causes of death among people aged 15 to 44 years.

Pressure and depression are the primary triggers for suicidal attempts. Reasons to commit suicide range from the loss of a loved one through divorce, death or break-up; interpersonal or family conflicts; school problems; financial dilemmas; family violence, etc.

Reasons

Suicidal people are not necessarily mentally ill or weak-willed; those with such urges are having problems that they cannot cope with. More often, these people do not ask for help. They rather keep their problems alone than sharing it to others, but it doesn’t mean that help will not be needed. So, talking to them will be a good help but try to avoid reactions that could lead him more into suicide like being angry and frightened with their feelings.

David L. Conroy Ph.D., author of the book Recovery from Depression and Suicidal Pain, opines that suicide is not a choice and it occurs when pain exceeds one’s resources for coping with pain.

Those at risk

Everyone, regardless of age, gender or socioeconomic status, is at risk of committing suicide. The profile of suicide victims encompasses both over-achievers and under-achievers. According to the WHO’s SUPRE program, a person dies of suicide in every 40 seconds. This represents a global mortality rate of 16 per 100,000 individuals, young and old.

However, it is said that suicide rates among young people have been increasing lately, because most youths are said to be emotionally weak, brought about by their young age and inexperience. There are approximately 100,000 adolescents who commit suicide every year.

Never alone

If one is feeling suicidal, it is better not try to cope with it alone. Willpower has nothing to do with its prevention.

Opening up to others—a friend, a lover or a family member—can bring immense relief. Even perfect strangers can help. To those who have no one to talk to, there are hotlines such as Crisis Line and Manila Lifeline Center (phone number 0917-8549191). If one is a student, the guidance counselor’s office is also a haven for help.

How to be a friend

Listening attentively is one of the best ways to help a person who is suicidal. Contrary to the popular belief that suicidal people to be quiet about their condition, they tend to show subtle signs of their depression and their desire to take their own lives. Be sensitive to these signs. Never be judgmental.

Being sensitive enough to ask, once signs of being suicidal or being depressed start to show, is a good way of showing empathy. Ask immediately if there is something that you could do about it.

Usually, what triggers people to commit suicide are unsaid and repressed feelings, and they see suicide as the only way to “escape” from such a painful state. So, ask what bugs them and what can you do to help them overcome their emotional state. –IAN MAGALLANES-CRUZ, CHEZKA MARIZ GUEVARRA, JENNIFER JIMENEA SPECIAL TO THE MANILA TIMES