Ex

It was only on May 8 when Italy (where the Vatican, home of the Pope, leader of the largest religion in the world, resides), held its first divorce fair, with the aim of providing life coaching, beauty tips, tips on getting rid of former spouses who turn to stalkers, and helping couples with legal proceedings to start afresh.

Punto e a capo (if my Italian is correct), that what “ex” means: to start afresh; to turn a new leaf, or a new page; or to make it ever simpler, period!

Each life deserves a second chance, and many chances even, and 130,000 couples in Italy took the route in 2007 when they either split up or divorced, a rather insignificant number for a county with approximately 60 million people.

Organizer of the fair told media Italians are “not very used to divorce,” as it was only made legal in 1970, with much opposition from the Catholic Church. But it was made into a law, anyway.

Only recently, an effort to re-introduce divorce in the Philippines was made by Gabriela, a party-list group championing women’s rights and welfare. Although there is no sense of urgency in Gabriela, its persistence remains in pushing divorce in the Philippines, which is the only country left in the world without a divorce law, the other being Malta, although we could say its devotion to the Catholic faith is not different from the Italians.

The Italians, however, were able to separate laws of state and church, and the issue will help define the very fine thread that lines both if divorce would be made into law in the country.

Gabriela believes there is a strong public clamor among Filipinos for divorce, but the Catholic Church remains strong in opposition to it. Muslim Filipinos, however, practice divorce under their law.

The Philippines used to have divorce under the 1935 Constitution before it was taken off the New Civil Code.

Now, only non-Muslims can’t avail of divorce.

We have remained conservative about the issue, but we have seen families breaking down and couples meeting dead end streets with no remedies at hand, except for annulment which many couples cannot afford, and which the Catholic Church also frowns upon.

The state should prove its independence from the church, which continuously dips its hands on the country’s political affairs, proof of which are the many Edsa parties where top leaders of the Catholic Church openly called for their flock to march into the streets and topple presidents.

In Italy, however, the main center of the Catholic faith had given way to the state in adopting a divorce law, which 30 years after it was introduced, did not really cause massive family breakdowns as we fear here.

Gabriela lawyer Annie Foja said their version of the divorce bill will require five grounds for the termination of marriage, namely:

1. If the spouses are already separated for five years and reconciliation is highly improbable;

2. If they are already legally separated for two years;

3. If the marriage is no longer working;

4. If one or both spouses have psychological incapacity;

5. If spouses have irreconcilable differences resulting to irreparable breakdown of the marriage.

Each step shall be properly guided by law, she said.

I have discussed this issue with my wife, and to my surprise, she expressed her favoring the bill.

What’s more surprising is that I share her views, and we are both church-going Catholics.

And we are not exes.–Aldrin Cardon, Daily Tribune