Toxic people in the work place

A “philosopher” once said, “Most people are really good. It’s just their behavior that is in question.” This is like saying most people are good; it’s just that they sometimes kill others with a gun.

If this is the case, then most people in the work place are essentially good. Sometimes, they just kill you with their toxicity. And sometimes, perhaps unknowingly, you and I, we do the killing too.

Have you ever realized that the people guiltiest of unruly behavior at work are also the ones most oblivious to their behavior? I will use fictitious names in my examples, but the characters portrayed here are real. You’ll find them in the work place, in civic organizations and even in religious settings.

There’s Dolores for one. She sits next to you and talks to you all the time. She talks about herself, her problems, her vacation, her house, her husband, her pets, but she never asks you what’s happening in your world.

And there’s Johnny, the sweet talker who begs you to “help” him with a project presentation. When you do help him, you end up doing the whole thing. After the presentation, Johnny is given pats in the back and congratulated for a job well done. And he takes full credit for everything! Worse, he doesn’t even call you to say thanks.

Oh-oh!

And then there’s Dennis. A nuclear explosion, that’s Dennis. One wrong word, one wrong question, make a criticism or give an opinion, and you push his hot button and he blows his top.

And who can forget Annie. She smiles at you sweetly, but you’ve always suspected her as the source of all the nasty gossip spreading against you. If only you have enough proof to pin her down!

These are just a few examples of toxic people in the work place. And, oh, how we wish they would just work somewhere else!

Leaders should not ignore this!

The one important thing I teach in my leadership workshops and seminars is that, leaders are not only accountable to their people’s performance. Leaders should also be accountable to their people’s behavior.

But perhaps the greater challenge is what to do if you and I, if we’re the ones perceived to be toxic. Here are a few ideas on how to keep that from happening:

1. LEARN TO CELEBRATE YOUR CO-WORKER’S SUCCESS.

Envy makes a person toxic. The natural inclination of envious people is to undermine others’ achievements and accomplishments. When you do this, you taint your own reputation and run the risk of having a conflict with the object of your envy. Make sure you kick envy out of your system. Acknowledge other people’s achievements, but do not use them as a standard by which to measure your own. Forget envy. Convert your negative energy into positive passion, and focus on being a team player instead.

2. LEARN TO CLIMB CORRECTLY.

Climbing up the corporate ladder of success does not mean stepping on heads or toes. Do your work excellently so that people notice your performance before they notice you. When working with a team, work in such a way that you are all noticed for innovation and productivity. Be on the lead of building a positive team climate. Making everyone look good on a team project will make you look good as a team player.

3. FOCUS ON THE LONG TERM.

Do not try to use your position to punish others, demand their loyalty or take all the credit for work where others have contributed in. Do not harbor secret hatred for your boss. And do not fight with co-workers because you, he or she may just one day turn out to be your boss. Do not work for quick, short-term gains. Understand that long-term sustainable success is a process not an event.

4. SHOW RESPECT AND PROFESSIONALISM

Watch your behavior carefully. NEVER flirt in the work place. And keep your wants in check. Lust in the workplace isn’t limited to office romance. You can lust after a nicer workspace or even your boss’s job. When you constantly focus on what you don’t have and salivate over what others have, rather than working hard – that’s a sure-fire career killer.

5. WORK REAL HARD.

I‘ve never met anyone who succeeded in life who’s not hard working. And I’ve never met a lazy person who’s without reasons and excuses on why they never succeeded.

What you sow is what you reap, Scriptures say. This is so true in life, most especially in the work place.

A wise person says, “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” And may I add that this may have to include the people you work with as well. –By Francis J. Kong (The Philippine Star)

(Get daily inspirational quotes and thoughts from Francis! Send “Inspire” to 288 for Smart or Sun subscribers, and 2889 for Globe. Visit facebook.com/franciskong2 for more details.)