The secrets of old age (Part 1)

Get together with old classmates, old colleagues, and old friends: The author Letty Lopez with some old college classmates on a fun trip to Vigan.

It’s a check list that no one has taken seriously or, worse, has been forgotten:

• Before middle age: Do not fear. Middle age is defined as the period between early adulthood and old age, usually considered as the years from 45 to 65. I’d modify this a bit and make it from years 35 to 65.

• For those below 35: Open your mind and stand for what you believe is right. However, you can only do that if you’ve learned from history, from your elders, and from your personal experience. You acquire the virtues and values that would give you a greater chance of achieving success. The school of hard knocks also gives practical lessons, but it doesn’t exempt you from making wrong choices with its attendant (hard-to-pay) price. If you survive, you would have discovered your strength. This would have given you the courage to face other challenges and contradictions in life, and be better and wiser in handling them.

• After middle age: Do not regret. Hard lessons will teach you that at whatever age, the learning doesn’t stop. With every loss comes the realization that you can take more. The total sum of your life’s experiences has brought you to where you are now. It was well worth it, wasn’t it? Don’t be hard on yourself. Bury whatever “what might have beens” are still hovering around together with any pain and disgruntlement.

• Enjoy your life while you can. Do not wait till you cannot see or walk anymore. While you’re up and able, do what you’ve long wanted to do.

A nephew has always dreamed of becoming a pilot, but his family was against it out of fear and the odds of meeting a dreadful end. Although he reached a fair degree of achievement in his career, he still felt unfulfilled; his one desire continued to haunt him. At 34, he put his foot down, “Mom, I’ve always followed what you wanted for me. Although it’s a fine life, I’m not happy. Please let me pursue my dreams.” His mom finally gave her blessings. He is now a commercial pilot and literally touching the skies, flying free as a bird.

At the 90th birthday of an aunt, we were cracking up at the two-member band that sang very old songs from those bygone days of the cabaret. But we remembered the lyrics, directed towards those who were over the hill. It was a dance polka entitled Enjoy Yourself: You work for years, you’re always on the go, you never take a minute off, too busy makin’ dough. Someday you say you’ll have your fun when you’re a millionaire, but what fun would that be in your old rockin’ chair? Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think, enjoy yourself, while you’re still in the pink. The years go by, as quickly as a wink.

• As long as it is physically possible, visit places you wish to visit. Fr. Dave Concepcion said that the first thing you must have is the firm desire to see places you’ve long dreamed about. The visa, ticket, and pocket money somehow will fall into place when you’ve made up your mind. I’d add an unthinkingly enthusiastic amount of faith for things to synch like gravity.

Find travel mates who’d sum up the lure to pack up and go: Tara na, bahala na (si Batman?). Like the polka song above, don’t tarry: Next year for sure, you’ll see the world, you’ll really get around, but how far can you travel when you’re six feet underground?

• When it is time to spend, just spend, treat yourself well as you’re getting old. I still hold back in this department, remembering a perceptive advice, “It’s easy to spend it all. There’s one hurdle: We don’t know when we’d croak; we need cash to sustain and maintain our livelihood and lifestyle.” In essence, do not scrimp, but also be prudent to save a tidy sum for your retirement comfort and to foot hospital bills, when it comes, not if.

• When there is an opportunity, get together with old classmates, old colleagues, and old friends. It’s not merely to eat but with everyone growing old, we ought to see each other more.

You know you’re old when the word fitting, that once upon a time meant trying on new garments, now means trying on new dentures.

Friends keep the thrill new and palpable. We become of one mind when we look out for each other, eat together while egging each one to enjoy, indulge, and shoot anyone who’d dampen our enthusiasm. For a change, we’ve cut some slack on shopping. How many more bags, clothes, and shoes must one acquire in this period of our lives?

Let your closet breathe — and your pocket, too. –Letty Jacinto-Lopez (The Philippine Star)