Stigma, Aura and Pera: The HIV Connection

Growing up in the 80’s, I was already in high school when Rock Hudson died of AIDS. Back then, it was still called AIDS because it was still at its infancy and a lot of misconceptions were believed to be true. It was only later on when I learned that a person does not become an AIDS victim immediately, he or she must first be an HIV sufferer before going to AIDS where death was the likely outcome.

Back in the 80’s, the virus was like a death sentence. We were horrified by pictures of sufferers near death, sullen, weak, wasted, and like walking corpses. I grew up thinking that it was a contagious disease that targeted gay people like punishment from God. While it was Dolzura Cortez who became a popular AIDS victim in the Philippines partly due to a movie starring Vilma Santos, the AIDS stigma remains.

The 90’s showed promise. AIDS was still incurable but there was already a breakthrough. The virus was not invincible. Science has found a way to contain the virus and prevent it from becoming a full-blown syndrome thanks by large to the pink ribbon that enabled funds to finance research. As a result, major AIDS hotspots saw declining death rates. It was no longer an LGBT scourge. In fact, in most Western states, HIV transmission and death was more a result of the IV drug abuse.

Then, why is HIV transmission rising in the Philippines? In fact, May 2015 saw the highest HIV transmission rate reported in history. It does not even include unreported cases. This alarming statistic made me wonder; is there an underlying reason for this?

Hence, I began to research, got to know HIV+ persons, those who got treatment, those who chose to suffer in silence and the families and partners who stayed or left. And the reason can be summed up in three words: Stigma, Aura and Pera.

Last year, May 2014, when I was right in the middle of the Napoles controversy, my partner was dying. At first, it was unexplainable and because we were a gay couple, the hospital immediately asked for consent for us to undergo HIV testing. I agreed without hesitation and marched to the laboratory that was open to the public. Our doctor had to physically restrain me from going. She told me, many people will recognize me and there will be intrigues if they will discover I had to submit myself to the test.

Of course, I was non-reactive (negative of the virus). I was confident because I was never remiss in my obligation to protect myself. But the fact that just by mere testing, there is a danger to be stigmatized really bothered me. People made conclusions if you asked to be tested for the virus.

Two years ago, when a friend found out he has HIV, I posted a status asking my friends to protect themselves by wearing a condom. Many in my close circle got angry at my statement. They told me, by telling them to wear condoms, I was encouraging promiscuity. Instead, I should be preaching no to pre-marital sex or celibacy to prevent HIV transmission.

But the reality is, gays and lesbians cannot get married in the Philippines and most of them do not have the faith and fortitude to take the vow of celibacy. Worst, the reality is far from the aspiration of sexual abstinence before marriage even for the heterosexuals. People just nod and agree because we live in a society that glorifies male sexuality and measure their manhood by the virgins they have broken and frown on the single women who had the balls to brandish their own sexuality.

The stigma is there. If you will have be judged just by getting tested, imagine the stigma if he or she decides to seek treatment. By societal attitudes and misconceptions, we are forcing the afflicted to hide in shame. Worst, we discriminate those who get tested and treated.

Renato Nocus, a friend of mine way back in Cebu, is one of those strong enough to get tested and seek treatment and he was honest as well to tell his employer. In return for 10 years of loyal service and honesty, he was transferred to another branch that is to be closed for its low profitability. Even if his TB was cured, his employer wants his HIV to be cured as a condition for continued employment; an impossible condition presently and despite the provisions of law against discrimination for persons with HIV. When I posted this fact in Facebook, there were some who commented that there is a justification because Renato is a beautician who handles scissors and blades on people.

But to those who do not get it, Renato is not the problem. He is not the threat. His HIV is controlled that he can no longer be a magnet for contagious diseases. He can handle scissors with the care to wear gloves as a precaution because it is also for his best interest to stay hygienic. The threat is the stigma that forces the other sufferers to hide the sickness and mask the manifestations to pass off as healthy. Those whom we trust to handle our food, inject us in hospitals and allow in our lives as lovers who chose to hide because they fear our ignorance. They fear taking precautions because people might suspect that if he wore a mask or gloves, he was sick. If we continue with this stigma, they will continue to hide. And the numbers will continue to rise.

The LGBT community and its culture of promiscuity is also part of the problem. As a gay person, I will not condone any behavior that is self-destructive. “Aura” is a gay lingo for cruising for sexual escapades similar to terms like “rampa” or “booking.” I will not engage in any debate about pros and cons of promiscuity but merely state that this reality is prevalent in the LGBT community.

For some, sex is not sacred. It is an animal impulse that deserves to be satisfied. It is a commodity that can be peddled to those who need it. It is that same attitude that justifies “recreational prostitution” by members of the community. There are gays and transgenders who resort to prostitution not because of need or poverty but because they can and they have customers. I know a gay person who has a stable and decent paying job but still engages in “raket” on occasions because he needs an Iphone or a vacation in Laboracay. It was not out of desperation but because he looks good and there are those willing to pay him for it. Problem with the situation is that customers are always right, with or without condom and money is motivation to be reckless.

The internet is making hook ups easy. Gay dating sites like Planet Romeo, Grindr, Jack’d, Moovz and so many others serve as easy access to meeting someone. Even Facebook and WeChat have a “nearby” function that allows which makes hooking up even more convenient.

Is promiscuity the problem then? No. By no means am I advocating promiscuity. But in the midst of this reality, I am advocating responsibility and accountability.

Is that too difficult to follow for the gays in the Philippines? I believe it is easier said than done. First of all, reckless sexual behavior is prevalent because gays grow up not able to get proper sex education from the parents and the schools. It is hard for a gay person to understand gay sex when the common sex education is about the birds and bees. I was shocked when a lawyer who was a Bar topnotcher ask me how gays do it. When I told him in details, I could see the horror in his eyes. Hence, gays learn along the way and it is too late for some of them.

Reckless sexual behavior is a result of lack of awareness, the misplaced notion that it will not happen to him and the fatalistic flaw of the “bahala na” leaving everything to fate. These factors conspire to give an ordinary gay person reason to have sex without a condom.

Every gay person today knows the risk of HIV. The problem is that many do not see the need to carry a condom. Condoms are readily available but many find it difficult to purchase it for fear of being humiliated or risked being sniffed out as gay. Most often, they randomly meet sexual partners and have sex on a whim or by chance. When passions get hot and heavy and they have no protection with them, they dive into a game of chance. For some, it takes only one act of careless passion.

Trust is another factor. Many couples therapist tell us that there can be no love if there is no trust. Good. But many afflicted with HIV got them from their partners whom they trusted out of love; those who took as gospel truth their lovers assurances of being clean or not being promiscuous. A friend of mine got his HIV from his partner of five years who frequented bathhouses whenever the partner went on business trips. Worst, his younger brother who is also gay got the virus from his partner as well. They knew of their condition because the partner died of Japanese encephalitis due to HIV complications.

It is the atmosphere of promiscuity that frightens a gay man. To have a reputation as an HIV+ person comes with a lowered marketability and losing appeal to the players of the game of sex. An HIV+ gay man who was popular as a male pageant royalty refused to be treated despite having been tested because the nurses in PGH, RITM or San Lazaro were gay men who saw him in the pageants he joined. I later learned he was afraid that his reputation will be destroyed and his admirers/possible sexual partners will avoid him.

Economy is the last reason. From the prevention to the testing and the treatment, the issue of money is always considered. There are gays and transgenders who have sex for money, do riskier stuff for more money and the fact of having HIV or even an insinuation is bad for business.

The price of condoms, which is more expensive than a value meal, is one of the reasons why it is not a priority to many gays with active sexual practices. Places where condoms should matter, like motels and bathhouses, are allowed to operate without government support to make condoms available or mandatory. Closing down these places will not solve the problem because these establishments will continue with their rogue operations as long as there are gays who answer to the call of the loins.

Testing is expensive if done in a private hospital and free testing clinics frighten a discreet gay man. Moreover, the financial expense of getting treatment coupled with the threat of losing livelihood and acceptance of his loved one contribute to the rising incidence of HIV in the Philippines.

The HIV is a problem that should be addressed immediately. It should not focus on testing alone. A non-reactive result will only be as good as your next sexual escapade. It should begin with breaking down the walls of ignorance. By properly educating a gay child on the real sex education, how it is to be truly protected, and the sense of accountability for their actions.
More from: http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/story/521722/opinion/stigma-aura-and-pera-the-hiv-connection