Battered women and their abusive men (Three of five parts)

The wife beater is a very controlling man. He often is also suffering from a personality disorder. He might be an anti social personality. He is someone who lacks conscience. How can a man who says he loves his wife keep beating her and not feel bad about it? It is true that most abusive men will hurt and then apologize, but that is more of a tactic to hold the woman rather than a sincere sentiment. If he is truly sorry, why does he do it again and again? How can he bear to see the woman he claims to love hurting and weeping in pain and misery because of what he’s doing to her? How can he do this again and again and without the least sign of remorse?

This behavior defies all logic. Those suffering from the anti social personality disorder are incredibly insensitive to the feelings of others. They are highly manipulative. They are dishonest and often very slick liars.

Batterers are usually very narcissistic. It’s always about them and rarely about you. Though they easily get offended and provoked, they are quick to hurt. You need to always understand them, their point of view and their feelings even if they care little about yours. They have an acute sense of entitlement. They truly believe they are superior to you.

All of them believe they are better than women even if some deny that it is so. You will know them by their behavior and their behavior clearly proves that they do not consider women their equals. For them, women are or should be subservient to them.

As one controller said: “Men rule the world. That’s how it always has been and that’s how it always will be!” Needless to say that his wife has been suffering from his controlling ways all her life, but feels that she is so trapped that there is no way out for her but to grin and bear it.

Wife beaters use violence and intimidation to hold a woman hostage. It is more about power than it is about love.

These men feel and believe that they cannot allow an equal relationship to take place because they fear being controlled themselves by their partner. This is why they are quick to shut down any attempt on the part of the wife to better herself and to grow as a person. Any such activity is seen as a direct challenge to the man’s power, and control and cannot be tolerated.

If you have questions about drug rehab call my office at 8206107 or 8251771 or e-mail me at goldenvalues_school.com.ph or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati City 1260. –BOB GARON, Manila Times